I Win!

Sorry, folks!  I’ve been away for awhile … but now I’m back!!   I had thought I would do a fun post - “What I Did On My Summer Vacation”.  Well, I was reviewing exactly what I did do on my “summer vacation” …. and I ended up laying down in a dark, quiet room with a cold compress on my forehead. 

In no particular order, from Victoria Day to Labour Day, I –
 

... have been out with my bird watching group on a semi-regular basis; been on an herb walk and a wildflower walk; been to tea and the Farmer’s Market at Montgomery’s Inn; attended Ryerson’s 25-year Club celebrations; celebrated the arrival of spring at the Royal Botanical Gardens; checked out the new Ryerson carillon; taught beginner knitting at my local library knitting drop-in; “Knit in Public” at my local wool shop; checked out the Redpath Waterfront Festival (0 stars out of 10 by the way); rode the “South Simcoe Heritage Railway”; crashed a Lighthouse concert in Nathan Phillips Square; toured all of the south Etobicoke sites during Open Doors Toronto; marveled at the Cheltenham “Badlands” (10 stars out of 10); discovered what is probably my most favorite new activity, “Art Battle”!; stared at the stars at the monthly Star Party – Royal Astronomical Society, Mississauga Branch; checked out the annual Mississauga Classic Car Rally; tagged along on a few walking tours - Art Gallery of Mississauga - Stroll 905; Mississauga through the Lens; Islington Village – An Art Walk Through History; Heritage Toronto – Journalists and Editors in 19^th Century Toronto

Plus we’ve got the Kitchener Glass and Ceramic Museum, Ryerson Image Centre, Mississauga Rib Fest, Parkwood Estates, the White Rock Ostrich Farm, and a run-a-way weekend in Ottawa for Buskerfest …

… and in between, I grocery shopped, did laundry and knit like a mad woman for the annual craft show!

I think now might be a good time to review the concept of the Retirement To Do List.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am still an advocate of the retirement “to do” list.  In fact, I adamantly believe it is the most important and useful weapon in your retirement arsenal. 

Like all momentous decisions in life, you need direction and guidance to keep you motivated and moving forward with that decision.

And your retirement “to do” list is that direction and guidance.  Something to keep you from spinning your wheels in boredom and frustration at the sixteen hours of free time you suddenly find you have on your hands once you officially join the ranks of the gainfully unemployed!!! 

So – once again, several years before you actually retire, take the time to start seriously thinking about why you are retiring and what it is you want your retirement to look like.  Then get out a pencil and a sheet of paper and start filling in your “retirement to do list” with old and new hobbies, old and new interests, people and ideas you have always wondered about, all the places, parks and attractions, near and far, you have always wanted to visit, etc., etc., etc.

... but apparently there is one thing I did forget to mention ….  there’s no prize for the person who gets to end of their retirement list first!!!! 

Something I seem to have forgotten!
 

*************************************************

A quick reminder – it’s the end of the calendar year.  All of you retirees and retiree wanna be’s who have spent the last year monitoring and documenting your daily spending habits …. now is the time to start reviewing those expenses, to determine in which household categories you are managing to stay on budget, where you are not managing to stay on budget and make adjustments accordingly for the upcoming calendar year.  Also, during November/December, you will have been notified by sundry institutions about upcoming increases in fees – in my case, condo maintenance fees, Bank of Nova Scotia, Bell Canada and Rogers Cable.  You have to remember to incorporate all of those increases into your monthly budget.  And as always, your final aim is to spend less than the actual amount of the pension cheque dropping into your account every month! 

That’s the good news. 

The bad news ... you get to start monitoring and documenting your daily spending habits all over again come Janaury 2015!

T.G.I.M.

(Thank Goodness It’s Monday!)

You heard me correctly! 

The call to arms of all retirees everywhere!

Thanks goodness it’s Monday!

The Mongol hoards of the gainfully employed have returned to their respective places of business and left the cultural, retail, and leisure playing fields free for the sole enjoyment of the retired everywhere!

When I was one of the Mongol hoards of the gainfully employed, Monday used to be the worst day of the week for me … well for that matter I suppose, for anyone who has to actually work for a living.  There is nothing worse than the dread, depression and panic that begins to overtake you late Sunday afternoon when you feel yourself slipping back into “work” mode.   The weekend has been too short and the Monday morning mental “to do” list you are already composing in your head for the week ahead is getting longer and longer.  Your only wish is for Friday to hurry up and come again.

Well, let me tell you something.  A funny thing happens to you on the way to retirement … Monday becomes your friend!

Not to wax too philosophically, but for me, Monday’s are now akin to the first day of vacation!  There is a barely repressed sense of excitement about the whole week ahead of me!  I can do anything, go anywhere I want (within budget, of course!)  And it’s a great deal easier and more convenient to go anywhere and do anything because there are no crowds at the museum or art gallery, there’s no one in my condominium laundry room, all the library computers and printers are free, and the grocery stores and food courts are empty (except for those annoying high school students on summer vacation.  I’m seriously thinking of trying to make year-round schooling a municipal election issue.  Who’s with me?)

Even the local tourist attractions are a little less crowded.

Friday’s, on the other hand, are now the most annoying day of the week!  Especially the Friday before a holiday Monday!  I can see that the roads are getting more congested, the line-ups at various admissions booths are just a tad longer, and all cashiers appear to have only one nerve left and the person ahead of me in line is standing on it!

There is absolutely no upside to a weekend once you have retired!

Monday morning can’t come soon enough for me!! 

Let Me Check My Calendar

 

Do you remember reading way back in one of my initial posts, that one of the many pieces of advice I picked up from a retirement seminar was the importance of establishing a daily, post-retirement schedule. 

On the surface, this seemed like an eminently practical piece of advice, especially for me.  Even before I retired, I knew that I simply do not do well in unscheduled time.  It’s something I have always know about myself. 

Never mind having to work with a weekly production schedule while I was gainfully employed.  Even on vacation, I’m one of those annoying people who cannot simply sit on the beach and snooze.  I’m the one with the guide book who is researching museums, galleries, theatres, walking tours and all the other sites and attractions a particular vacation destination has to offer. 

I’m that annoying person who arranges her vacation day into three blocks of time - an activity in the morning (beginning at 10 a.m. - when the museums and/or galleries open their doors), a lunch break, an afternoon activity, a dinner break, and usually a theater performance in the evening – basically every vacation I ever took to London, New York or Edinburgh.

But practical advice or not, isn’t liberating yourself from a “work schedule”, from the daily grind, from the rat race, etc., the prime reason absolutely everyone gives for wanting to retire? 

To finally be free to do what you want, whenever you want?

So on second thought, actually working to re-establish and maintain a “schedule” once I retired seemed to be a little counter-intuitive.

Well, I am now into my second summer of retirement and have stumbled over yet another one of those ironies of retirement.

The Calendar.

Capital “T”, capital “C”.

The Calendar.

To my eternal shock and chagrin, I have discovered that the one essential thing I need to survive early retirement is believe it or not, a calendar.  An actual pen and paper calendar!  (Come to tea lunch next month and I’ll show it to you!)

Thanks to my insistence on a comprehensive and detailed “Retirement List” and my dogged pursuit of as many “personal growth opportunities” as possible, my days are now actually more regimented and organized than they ever were when I was working for a living.*

And I think I know how it happened ....

For much of our working lives, our daily “schedule” is managed and maintained by others.  Managers, colleagues, project load, etc., dictated to us when and where we had to be on an almost hourly basis.  You may have actually written an appointment or meeting into your calendar or day timer, but the need for the appointment or the meeting was probably not initially your idea.

And let’s not forget that if you actually wanted to get paid for working for this living, it is human resources and payroll who control the actual beginning and end to your work day …. as well as your actual payday!

It doesn’t take long once you have retired, however, to realize that now you, and only you, are in charge of organizing your own life. 

You are now captain of your own ship!

And it is truly the most annoying thing in the universe to be captain of your own ship!

If you have a spouse or school-aged children, some of your daily retirement routine will automatically be scheduled for you.

Unfortunately, I have neither spouse nor children, so the onus for organizing my days falls to me and me alone.  And I am a pain in the *** to keep organized and moving forward!

As much as I like the “freedom” that retirement has brought, knowing that on a daily basis I can go anywhere I want, any time I want – using a calendar to aid in re-establishing a structure to my days has proven to be, well …. useful!

Knowing that you have something scheduled for the day ahead gets you out of bed and off of the couch and ultimately keeps you in contact with the human race.

You will find there is actually a certain amount of comfort in knowing where you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to be doing on a daily basis – even if it’s only doing the laundry or grocery shopping. 

And working your way through a daily schedule actually gives you a sense of accomplishment, especially if you are able to cross something off your Retirement List. 

Bet you’d thought I forgotten about The List!

Never forget about The List!

‘Cause it’s that List that is going to help you to re-establish a structure and order to your post-retirement life!

 
 
*Just because I have a calendar, doesn't mean I'm managing to keep myself out of trouble.  Sorry again Linda, Howard!

Hey lady …. !

 

Do you remember that variety store in the strip mall beside your middle school?  Or just around the corner from your childhood home? 

If you’re as old as I am, you remember when those small, independent variety stores sold wax lips, sticky candy necklaces, and Creamsicles.  And maybe, individual cigarettes, and for sure, fire crackers and fire works for the long weekend in May (remember the burning school house?)

And do you remember standing in front of said variety store with a group of friends waiting for a teenager of shady reputation to come along.  And asking him (always a “him” for some reason) to buy contraband for you and your friends because none of you were old enough to buy it for yourselves?

Well, here’s some irony for you.

You still may not be old enough to buy contraband.

If you manage to take early retirement, like I did, or you’re not quite 65 (or in some cases 60), you don’t qualify as a “senior” and therefore, do not qualify for senior’s discounts!

(I don’t mind the not being a senior bit.  It’s the not getting the discounts bit that has my support hose in a twist!)

You find yourself right back in front of that variety store – in this case, admission booths at trade shows and movie theatres - waiting for a sympathetic, older, retiree to happen by ...

And asking them to buy a senior’s-priced admission for you. 

Well, not really.  I don’t actually cruise the floor of the Direct Energy Centre or the International Centre looking for sympathetic-looking seniors.  (But it’s an amusing thought.  Maybe there’s pocket money to be made in scalping senior’s-priced tickets to events. The next time Tom Jones comes to town ….. )

If I think I can get away with it (particularly if the cashier at the Cineplex theatre looks young and bored enough), I ask outright for a senior’s priced ticket.  The chances are pretty good that she is going to be more interested in her iPhone and flirting with the concession stand hunk than in actually asking to see any proof of age. 

And she probably thinks I look older than her mother anyway.

Or if you are out with friends and one member of the group is 60+, you find yourself asking if they will buy your admission ticket along with theirs.  After all, they’re on a fixed income and a tight budget as well.  So they understand the importance of saving a few dollars whenever possible.  

But ... the most important thing of all that I have learned.  

If you’re lucky enough to be able to afford a restaurant lunch or dinner prior to the movie, keep your mouth shut when the waitress asks - “senior’s discount?”

Just nod.

Actually, the only retailer I have found offering a senior’s discount at age 50 is the Sears store in Dixie Value Mall – and we all know what happened to Sears Canada!

There is something slightly ridiculous and Kafkaesque about being caught up in this “what goes around, comes around – again” scenario.  Old enough to stay up and watch all of the Late Show and the infomercial that follows, but not yet old enough to buy my way into the local Cineplex at the senior’s rate.

I guess it’s high school all over again!  Gonna have to go out and get myself yet another fake ID, just so I can once again “prove” I am older than I really am!

Brace Yourself!

Remember all of that time that is going to free up once you retire? 

Well, I have something to tell you.  It’s not pretty, it may not even be decent, so send the children from the room.  And those of you who are medically prone to light-headedness when gasping deeply – sit down now and brace yourself.

For one word.

Housework.

There, I’ve said it. 

Housework.

While I was gainfully employed on a full-time basis, I employed a cleaning service. 

I live alone in a one bedroom, six-hundred-square-foot condominium. 

And I employed a cleaning service.

Every two weeks, first thing Monday morning (Tuesday morning on long weekends) my cleaning service magically appeared, just like a fairy godmother, and scrubbed my condominium clean to within a hairs’ breath of its existence.  I had only to write a cheque. I luxuriated in the arrangement, for you see – I am the world’s laziest person.

It’s the one character trait of mine of which I am inordinately proud.

That I am inordinately proud of my laziness is not something of which I am inordinately proud, but there you have it.

But we all know from our extensive reading of Greek mythology what goes before the fall.

Pride.

And then the fall.

Retirement.  And a dull thud of a fall it was.

Suddenly, well not all that suddenly, there was no money in the retirement budget for a cleaning service.

And I was somewhat horrified to discover that housework in all of its inconvenient forms, still needs to be done.  Bathroom and kitchen floors still have to be scrubbed.  Mirrors still need to be wiped down.  Carpets need to be vacuumed and absolutely every chacha in absolutely every nook and cranny has to be dusted.

And all on some kind of a regular basis.

And grocery shopping.  Well, that’s a rant for another time. 

And then there’s laundry.  Don’t get me started!

Try inviting friends over for a house cleaning party and you soon discover who your friends really are.  Sure, those friends are more than willing to share a cup of tea or a meal with you.  Pop a loaf of homemade bread into the oven and watch the line-ups start to form on your front porch.  But suggest that it might be fun to get together and tuck in to scrub a toilet or tackle all that grout mold and see who drops who from their calling circle.

So back to my original point. 

All of that time that is going to be freed up once you retire ….

Add housework to your “to-do” list. 

‘Cause housework doesn’t retire once you do.  More’s the pity.

And it’s not any easier or amusing to do housework when you’re retired.  In fact, as time inevitably marches on, housekeeping, even in its most basic form, is actually going to get more physically difficult.  The only bright note – you can do all of your housework in the middle of the week instead of trying to cram everything into a weekend afternoon.  Or on a rainy afternoon.  Or after you’ve been trapped inside for who knows how long during the coldest, snowiest winter Toronto has seen in many a long year!

On the upside, you can “count” housework as an activity accomplished on your daily schedule or to do list.

The downside, guess what you get to count as an “activity accomplished” next week ….. and the week after that …. and the week after that ad naseum.  (And I do mean naseum.)

As a recently retired friend lamented while staring down the business end of a mop, “what happened to all of that free time I was supposed to get when I retired!”

Networking, n (1940) – the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions (Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary)

Remember all of those networking skills you developed and polished during your years of full-time employment?  That annoyingly thick stack of business cards and/or rolodex of names and numbers you collected from all and sundry who dropped into your office?

Well, here’s another tidbit of retirement bad news. 

Don’t throw any of those networking skills or business cards out with the preverbal retirement bathwater. 

‘Cause your gonna be surprised at how much more “networking” you’re going to be doing now that you are retired (or gainfully unemployed as I like to think of it!)

Because remember, retirement isn’t simply ceasing to work full-time.  Heck, retirement isn’t even really retiring.  It’s just changing careers.  And the networking skill set you honed keeping your career moving forward is going to come in equally handy in helping you to keep your retirement career moving forward.

And networking to keep your retirement career moving forward is no different than the networking you did when you had a full-time career.

You just get out there and meet and talk to “industry” folk who have the same interests and motives that you have.

You go to all the industry trade shows and talk to all the industry reps.   You subscribe to all the industry journals.

Only now the “industry” you’re interested in is “retirement” ...

So whenever you go into your local library branch, community centre, etc., you peruse the brochure rack and check the bulletin boards for events and activities.

You regularly check your local parks and rec and local municipal government web sites.

You regularly check the web sites of groups and organizations that interest you.  And keep checking the sites of any industry groups you were involved with.

You subscribe, either by e-mail or by old fashioned postal delivery, to the newsletters published by your local library, your local municipality, the arts and culture groups in your area, the sports and recreation organizations in your neighbourhood.

You read the “upcoming events” calendar in the local newspaper (in my case, The Mississauga News).

And you’ve been keeping in touch, if only occasionally, with friends and former work mates, either retired or still working full-time.

And then, when you eventually find an event or group or activity that interests you …

... you do what you always did when you met new people in the same line of work as you.  You shake a few hands and start talking shop!  Basically, “what’s there for a nice retiree like me to do in a place like this?”

Trust me on this, read a few newsletters, peruse a few brochures and bulletin boards, meet a few new people and you will be amazed to discover exactly what goes on in your neighbourhood at two o’clock on a Wednesday afternoon! It’s positively indecent!

The Sad, Woe Begotten Saga of How the Mad Retiree became a Bird Watcher

Or

The Tale of the Accidental Birder

This is the story of how I became a bird watcher. 

During my many years of pre-retirement existence, bird watching was an activity about which I had no opinion and quite frankly, had given even less thought to.

But now here I am – setting my alarm clock two mornings a week, running out of the house by 8:10 a.m. at the latest, lugging a camera (Canon XS 30 – 30 times zoom lens), a pair of binoculars (10 x 50 zoom), a copy of Birds of Eastern North America – A Photographic Guide (mainly because my copy of Sibley’s Guide to Birds  is too heavy, the National Geographic Field Guide to the Birds of North America is too thick, and the Compact Guide to Ontario Birds not detailed enough), with a pocketful of sunflower seeds in case I meet any hungry chick-a-dees.

Bird watching as a now cherished retirement hobby was not on my “to do” list.  All I knew about birds was not to park the car under a hydro wire. 

But what was on my retirement list was photography.  And in my ear, the nagging and persistent voices of a collection of medical professionals intoning that a woman of my age needed to get more exercise.  So walking through the park photographing various flora and fauna and the odd bird that happened to hop my way seemed like a workable compromise.

On perhaps the second or third day of my retirement, I packed up my cameras, made myself a sippy cup of tea and headed out to the Riverwood Conservancy.

On this particular trip to the Conservancy, I notice a “schedule of events” nailed to the post of a bird feeder (the bird feeders in the park are now my prime source of information for upcoming park events!)  The schedule listed a “Bird Watching Hike, Monday and Wednesday mornings, ideal for beginners and experts alike”.

Now as I have mentioned, repeatedly, bird watching as an organized group activity was not something I had ever aspired to.  But at that point, that bird watching hike met all of the retirement criteria I had laid out for myself:

- “The List” – photography was on my carefully organized and crafted retirement list.  It was my interest in photography that had brought me to the park in the first place.

- Though it was never written out in so many words, retirement was not only supposed to afford me the time to pursue already established interests and hobbies, retirement was also supposed to give me the opportunity to pursue new interests and hobbies – an opportunity for personal growth.

- Also not officially on “the list”, retirement would give me the opportunity to meet some new interesting and interested people.  Well, bird watchers were guaranteed to be new and interesting people!

- Networking – since the initial hike was scheduled to begin at 8:30 a.m. on a Monday morning, the chances were pretty good that everyone else on the walk was going to be a retiree as well.  If you’re new to this retirement gig, who better to give you some pointers than another retiree!

- Rebuilding a daily schedule - for that first Monday at least, I had an appointment written down in my calendar.

- Exercise – who among us wouldn’t benefit from a little (more) exercise? 

- Fresh air – I had just spent 30+ years, forty hours a week inside an office building.  Now I was fighting the urge to spend my days on the couch with the remote.  And there is going to come a time, much sooner than most of us planned for or believe will come, when it is no longer going to be physically possible to get out of house and into the sunshine.  Quite frankly, that bird watching hike was beginning to sound better and better.

… but the most important consideration of all …

- The hike was free to all comers!

Not that any of these thoughts were actually going through my head at the time (except perhaps for the fact that the hike was free!)  If I was being perfectly honest, I do believe my plan was to sign up for the hike just so I could get into the park with a guide, learn about all of the trails, suss out the best photographic and scenic sweet spots, and then drop out of the group.

Well, what can I tell you! 

I have learned to identify a double-crested cormorant by sight, a white breasted nuthatch by song, and a Cooper’s hawk in flight.

I actually own all of the birding guides listed above.

And every Monday and Wednesday morning, “bird watching hike” is written down in my calendar.

The moral of the story – mad retiree tip #3 - do not mock the list.   

It was my list (my interest in photography) that took me to the park in the first place – and then proceeded to blind-side me with a new hobby.  Not only a new hobby, but new people, and a fun and interesting personal growth opportunity. 

And the knowledge that there are bird species that actually fly south to the GTA for the winter!  (One of us has completely failed to grasp the concept of “going south for the winter”!)

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Recommended reading:
- an interesting article from the June 5th Toronto Star.  (I hope the link works - first time I have attempted this in a blog ...) - "Stress doesn't necessarily end just because you're retired."

www.thestar.com/business/personal_finance/retirement/2014/06/05/five_top_stressors_in_retirement_and_how_to_cope.html  

The Host(ess) With the Mostest!

For somewhat the same reason that it may not be possible for “work” friends to remain “friends”, you may find that “friend friends” may not translate into retirement playmates either. 

Simply because they are still working full-time and you are not.

Which may mean, the onus for maintaining and making new social contacts falls to you.

Part of your retirement job description now includes the title “social convener”. 

You may have to take the initiative and organize lunch dates with friends and former colleagues during the work week (keeping in mind that they can only be away from the office for an hour).  You may have to be the one to arrange playdates with friends and family on the weekends (keeping in mind that they are trying to squeeze errands and laundry into their weekend schedules.) 

And you may have to bear the responsibility for organizing play dates with friends and acquaintances for some time to come.  Especially if you are not really totally comfortable with going to or participating in events “alone”.  Do keep in mind however, if you sign up for an activity you already have an interest in, the only “strangers” you are going to meet are a group of people with the same interests as you!  (Don’t make me tell my bird watching story!)

But as much as you might enjoy it, retirement cannot be an endless round of social engagements. There were other activities on your “list”, weren’t there? 

Notice how we keep circling back to the “list”?

You’ve had your first successful foray into a post-retirement activity.  And you’ve lunched with former colleagues.  A lunch date which has actually afforded you a bit of closure.

Now it’s time to seriously start concentrating your time and energy on crossing items off your “list”! 

It’s time to start constructing that retirement career you told everyone you wanted.

…. and for those of us who worked at Ryerson, especially in an academic department, you may already have a bit of retirement foundation in place.  With a little bit of pre- and post- retirement planning, Ryerson may be able to provide you with play dates and daily structure after you retire.  If you worked in an academic department, there are awards nights, lectures, tour and discussion day presentations, etc. happening on a regular basis.  Heck, you probably spend a lot of your time at Ryerson organizing some, if not all, of these events, all the while desperately wishing for some volunteer assistance.  Well, you just got your wish.  Only you’re the volunteer assistance now.  Have a chat with your department before you retire to see if there are any volunteer opportunities available.

How about volunteering at Convocation?   

A Ryerson alum?  How about organizing a class reunion? 

Don’t actually want to “work” on campus …..

…. Farmer’s Market every Wednesday from now until Thanksgiving

… Mattamy Athletics Centre - Rams hockey, basketball, volleyball tickets available at reduced rates to Ryerson employees and alum

…. and what about the Ryerson Image Centre?  Admission is free to all – you don’t have to be a Ryerson employee or an alum!

Perhaps hanging around your former place of employment is not the most conventional way to begin your retirement career – but one of the keys to making a success of any undertaking is to play to your strengths and take advantage of any opportunities that come your way.  And for some, keeping in touch with Ryerson and/or the campus may be just that opportunity.

But if you’d rather not …. you still have your list!!!! 

Here’s to the Ladies (and Gentlemen) Who Lunch!

Once you have survived your first few weeks of retirement, out there meeting new people, making new friends, learning something new and exciting …. you are allowed to call your former, non-retired work mates and arrange to meet for lunch.  After all, didn’t everyone at your retirement party make you promise to keep in touch? 

And didn’t you promise that “as long as you weren’t too busy”, that you would?

Another mad retiree tip – don’t burn any bridges at that retirement party or when finally leaving your place of full-time career employment for that last time.  (Especially if you worked in, say an academic department at Ryerson.  Two of the most important things you will need when you retire are (a) human contact and (b) activities and play dates.  And for a little while at least, Ryerson can provide both.  But more about that in a future post.)

Regardless of how well you actually got along with some of your fellow, now, former worker bees, a lunch (or two) with former work mates can help ease you into the loss of structure in your life that retirement brings, while at the same time, helping you to establish a new structure.

Basically lunch with former colleagues gives you the opportunity to write an actual appointment in your day timer.  (The pretty one you bought at the Boxing Day sales …. ?)

And also, for a little while at least, you are a novelty to your department contemporaries – someone who got “out”.    And to the young ones who were invariably hired after you have left, you are a curiosity – some “old” person that used to work there.  So someone will return those initial telephone calls and e-mails and agree to meet you for lunch. 

And lunching with former co-workers will be a novelty for you as well because they will spend the better part of the lunch hour discussing projects you are no longer involved with nor bear any responsibility for – which is a very odd, but strangely satisfying sensation.

And that first (and perhaps only) lunch with former co-workers will actually help give you a sense of closure. 

Your (former) co-workers will be going back to work at the end of the hour …. and you will not. 

And the reason you will not be returning to the office …. you are officially retired.

Be warned, though - your being retired adds a new, tricky dimension to your relationship with your former co-workers … an ongoing employee/retiree relationship may not be sustainable.  “Work friends” may not translate in “friend friends” once you are retired and they are not. 

You will need to prepare yourself for this “loss”.

“People who need People …..!”

As I mentioned in one of my first posts, I had severely underestimated the amount of human contact I required to keep my sanity intact. I am a relatively independent person. I thought I knew how to amuse myself. I have a wide range of interests, I can usually find a book, an exhibit, a community event, a knitting pattern to pique my interest and keep me from the notice of the authorities.

And besides – I had my list. That all important, ubiquitous list.  The List.  The one thing I told you you couldn’t possibly begin retirement without.

That awe-inspiring list that you eventually turned into a full-blown retirement plan.

And if I may say so, my list was a thing of beauty.  It covered everything from the bizarre to the mundane.  From the once-in-a-lifetime to the everyday.  From the esoteric to the ordinary.

Personal growth, artistic design, and architectural grandeur – my list had it all.

In fact, I was relatively confident I would run out of list well before I ran out of retirement.

And then the unthinkable happened.

Reality.

And let me tell you – there is nothing more real than reality.

Very quickly and very soon into retirement, you begin to realise just how much time you did indeed spend in the company of other human beings.  The commuter “gang” you had a passing “hey” relationship with.  The staff at the Tim’s you stopped at every morning who knew your order by heart - just to name a few.

When you actually stop to think about it, full-time career employment puts you in direct, daily contact with a huge number of people every day - day in, day out.

And as much as I hated to admit it, suddenly being without all of that human contact was a surprising and unexpected shock to my system.

So initially, it was beginning to look like I would have to learn to spend time alone.  As I said, I’m a resourceful, independent sort of person.  How difficult was spending some time alone really going to be?

Well, let me tell you – as plans and ideas go, it was not one of my better ones.  No matter how resourceful and independent you think you are, spend too much time alone and that self-same resourcefulness leads you to do stupid things – like shopping for stuff you can’t afford, don’t need, and at the end of the day, don’t even really like or want.  Or even worse, you end up making friends with your refrigerator, couch and TV remote control – in that order. 

So right from the beginning, from that very first day of retirement, you have to start how you mean to go on – regularly getting out of the house for the sole purpose of maintaining human contact!

So a mad retiree tip – you need to have some activity planned, if not for the first day of retirement, at least for some time during your first week or so of retirement.  That activity (a) has to get you out of the house and (b) present you the opportunity to meet and talk to some new people.  And that activity cannot be lunch out with friends or family.

Take a minute, a minimum of six to eight weeks before your actual retirement date, to carefully study your retirement “to do” list.  Find something on that list that piques your interest and that you could actually accomplish without too much time, trouble or paraphernalia.  For example, don’t pick cross country skiing if it’s the middle of July or you haven’t actually purchased the required equipment.  

If the choice from your "to do" list is a “new” activity or interest you are planning to cultivate once officially retired, research the relevant organization and sign up/register for …. whatever it is … before you officially retire.  (Don’t make me tell my bird watching group story again!)

If your choice is an activity or organization in which you already have an interest, all the better.  You already know what goes on in your neighbourhood at two o’clock in the afternoon and who to call to let them know you’re coming!

Basically, you need to set yourself up for retirement success by having a small plan in place that has you out meeting and talking to new people with common interests and goals right from day one! 

... because, to paraphrase Barbra Streisand, people apparently do need people!

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Because you haven't got enough people telling you "how" and "what" you should do when you retire ... I've been noticing that the Business section of Monday's issue of the Toronto Star usually has one or two retirement-related articles.  This past Monday (May 5th) there was an article on CPP (Canada Pension Plan) and early retirement.  And my particular favourite was the article on page B5 -"Avoiding spending pitfalls in retirement" - basically, how to avoid turning shopping into a full-time occupation!

I actually do follow my own advice!!!

Conscientiously following my own advice, I have just completed a year-end review of my monthly, retirement budget numbers.  And you know what, I’m pretty happy with the results.  I am more or less managing to successfully live within my new means.  Cudos to me!

But less you think me Mary Poppins (“practically perfect in every way”), I have had to make adjustments, upwards as it happens, to two items in my budget. 

Gas for the car and groceries.

My original monthly budget for gas was tight.  Too tight, as it turns out, to accommodate the creeping, incremental increases in the price of a litre of gasoline.  Especially during the summer months, the prime time for out-of-town field trips.  I could have solved the problem by simply not driving as much, by taking public transit more often, for example.  But that would only have been a temporary solution.  Eventually, more bus trips would have slowly pushed my monthly “transit” costs higher (I have a budget category for “transit” as well as gas!)  And since I am still planning to continue to take out-of-town field trips during the summer, I am just going to have to pay the going rate for gasoline, whatever the current price per litre is.  With absolutely no chance of 49 cents a gallon gasoline returning (yes people!  I’m old enough to remember when gasoline was sold by the gallon, and only cost 49 cents!) my only option was to increase my monthly gas allowance.

My monthly grocery budget, as it turned out, was a little tight as well.  I had assumed that a third, perhaps even half of my pre-retirement grocery budget was going to brown bag lunches, so I cut my monthly grocery budget accordingly.   (Mad Retiree tip – if you are not already brown bagging your lunch, start tomorrow.  Besides saving money, it will get you used to eating your own cooking, because once you retire, lunches out are one of the first things to go!)  As it turned out, only a small percentage of my regular grocery shopping was going toward work lunches.  It turns out I had cut my grocery budget too drastically.  So number one, I had to rectify that cash shortfall.

And number two - I am a type II diabetic, so my weekly grocery shopping is all about fresh fruit and vegetables.  Whatever the current cost of those fruit and vegetables, that is what I am having to pay.  And the cost of those fresh fruit and vegetables has been going up in leaps and bounds the past eighteen months or so.  In the end, there was no hemming or hawing about increasing my grocery allowance, either.  

The moral of this story - because I had been tracking expenses and working within a monthly budget long before I actually retired, I already knew where every “dime” I earned was going when I set up my original retirement budget.  So making minor adjustments a year later to that budget was just that, minor, and didn’t involve me breathing into a paper bag because I was hyperventilating about how I was possibly going to make ends meet.

I did not make huge, random dollar amount increases to my gas or grocery allowances either.  I was, and still am, monitoring my monthly expenses very closely and carefully, so I knew when, where and by how much I was "overspending" on gas and groceries.

Oh, and by the way, I always pay cash for groceries and gas. 

No exceptions, ever. 

Actually, none of my monthly, variable expenses go on a credit card.  Not lunches, not tea, not Starbucks, not transit tickets.  I don’t even use my debit card.  Only cash.

Why?  Because it’s the only way to watch your hard-earned money literally slipping through your fingers. 

Actually handling your own money, quite literally and viscerally, puts you in touch with your hard earned cash.  And once you develop a personal, hands-on relationship with your money, you think long and hard about handing it over for a four-dollar cup of fluffy Starbucks coffee or for those to-die-for sandals just because they’re on sale.

And I am probably one of the last customers in the Western world that does not pay any of her bills on-line.  Why?  For exactly the same reason I pay cash when I can.  Sitting down and actually reading your monthly statements, then writing, with your own little, lily white hand, a dollar amount on a cheque and then recording that expense is just another way to put you in day-to-day touch with your money.  (You are recording all of your monthly expenses aren’t you?   And by “recording”, I mean writing them down in a ledger.)

Once you get to know your money, understand exactly where it goes – basically get on a first-name basis with your cash, so to speak – you’ll find it doesn’t step out on you nearly as often anymore!!!